Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
