i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
