I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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