my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize