Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
