ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
