It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
