im six kinds of drunk right now
nutella sex= disaster
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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