She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
