You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I stole a fireplace last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
