Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
