I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
