yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
3 2 1 whiskey
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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