there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
