chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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