therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
