I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
