If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
