Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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