At least make sure they are 18
Why
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
