I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize