i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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