it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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