I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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