States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
