I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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