at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
