So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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