i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
