No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
