whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
