he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
