Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
