I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
