SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Drake has all the answers
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