How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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