Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
