What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
