There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
