Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
