DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
