her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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