i jhust puked up my retainher.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
