:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
