My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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