This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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