dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my shit smells like andre
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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