soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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