what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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