So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
they need to just BURY HIM!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
