I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
