no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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