tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
