remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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