:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
