Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
