I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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