No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
two words: eviction party
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
